Casting Your Line

Ah the giant pond of dating. It’s got us all swimming around trying to figure out which bait to take, when to jump and show our colors and when to just hang out and wait until something truly eye-catching comes along.

But we all know that although there are many choices and methods to fishing, it is something that must be done with skill, care and charm. The first thing every fishing enthusiast must understand is that fishing is not hunting…there is no stalking of your prey—only flirting. Good fishermen understand they must seduce their catch with the right kind of bait at the right time.

And since we’re all fishermen (or fisherwomen), with the outcome ideally resulting in our perfect catch, we have to determine just what type of fisherman we are.

Utilizing very scientific methods, hours of observing fishermen at work and the help of my big sister, four types of fishermen daters have been found: the sports fisherman, the social fisherman, the bad fisherman and the love of the fish fisherman.

The first type is the sports fisherman. These guys take part in fishing for the glory. They want to land that trout, stuff it, hang it on their wall and show it off to their friends.

Next are the social fishermen. To put it simply, they just want to have fun. Their goal is not necessarily to land a catch, but more to enjoy the day at the lake with their buddies. They’re there to mingle, eat some delicious food, dance to the music and peruse the selection.

Then comes the bad fisherman. (Don’t deny it, you all know one.) This joker is in the game for the appropriate reasons but his methods are completely wrong. Instead of playing it cool, he’s in the water stirring it up, sloshing around and driving away every fish that could potentially be interested.

But never fear…because the love of the fish fisherman is still out there. This guy’s patient, kind and understands the kinds of methods that are required for landing his perfect catch. And although he may get hurt from time to time, he learns from each experience on his way to finding his one and only.

Now comes the fish. To date, we have successfully categorized five types of fish that are found in waters around the globe.

First on the list is the easy fish, although the more common name is the “Trash Fish.” These little guys are the suckers, the carp, or as I like to call them—the bottom feeders. Even the worst of fisherman has a chance with these crappers. Let me sum them up for you…If you throw a blood sucking leach out to them they would happily latch onto it. Basically, these are the types of fish you do not want. Unless of course you like low quality food that will provide you with minuscule and temporary satisfaction. Your call.

Next on the list is the fickle fish or as I lovingly call them, the “Big Tease.” These babies flirt with the bait, tap the hook and even go so far as to give it a little nibble. Typically, fishermen don’t catch these fish. But you really can’t take it personally because they don’t mean it personally. The fact is you just don’t have the right bait, you’re fishing at the wrong time or maybe, the fish you want still needs to grow and isn’t ready to be caught.

The third fish is the rainbow or “High Maintenance Fish.” This sparkler is all about the show and takes joy in leaping out of the water and displaying her array of colors. When this fish hits your line, you better set your hook quick or they'll just swim on by. And as we all know, with most high maintenance “treasures” you have to be willing to adapt to them.

Next is the brookie or the “Feisty Fish.” These fish are little, but they put up one big fight. They’re full of speed and spunk, making them doozies to catch. Although they are a bit harder to reel in, they’re typically worth every second of effort.

And finally, we have the big brown or the “Stubborn, Independent Fish.” Any fella after these babies had better be patient and ready to wait. These fish are driven, determined and generally smarter than most of the other fishies. To put it bluntly, they don’t want your bait and they don’t need you to feed them. They’ll find their own bugs. To quote the well-known phrase “good things come to those who wait,” if you’re willing to stick it out and land one of these fish, it will all be worth it. And although they may get scared and try to swim away from you, if you keep them on the line they’ll give way to your charms soon enough.

In closing, remember that there is a fish out there for you. And although you may have to wait awhile and go through your fair share of bottom feeders, rainbows, brookies and every other creature out there, feel confident in the fact that one day, you’ll land your one true guppy. Or love. You know what I mean.